Sorry for the late post today guys not had a great day. Here they are:
Man to dog trainer: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes into the corner."
Dog trainer: "That's OK, he is a Boxer."
Dog trainer: "That's OK, he is a Boxer."
A wife says to her husband
one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the
daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replies, "Well, lots of
dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to
any!"
Two
Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we
might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a
hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please,"
says one.
The vendor is too pleased
to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a
moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part...
did you get...?"
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on
her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to
fulfill three wishes for her.
"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.
"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?"
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.
As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I bet you are sorry you had me neutered."
"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.
"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?"
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.
As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I bet you are sorry you had me neutered."
During break time at obedience school, two dogs were talking.
One said to the other..."The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will never use in the real world."
One said to the other..."The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will never use in the real world."
A man takes his Rottweiler
to the vet and says "My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do
for him?" The vet says, "Well, let's have a look at him." So the vet
picks the dog up while examining his eyes. Finally he says "I'm going to
have to put him down." "What? Just because he is cross-eyed?" "No,
because he is really, really heavy."
Jokes Tommrow: Mother-In-Laws
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