Jokes

My wife said to me "I wish you'd play with me like you do those video games"

So I falcon-punched her in the face.

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I'm getting pissed off with my new psychiatrist.

I'm sure he's only treating my paranoia for the money.

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Walking in on your parents having sex is very distressing.

Although, your parents were more concerned that I had keys to their house.

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My wife has been missing for two weeks now and people have started asking questions.

Mainly, "Why are you so happy?"

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My wife was fuming when I untagged myself from some pictures she put on Facebook.

"They where totally embarrassing though" I pleaded.

"Embarrassing?" my wife snapped.

"It was our fucking wedding day you bastard!"

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